the silence

I'm tired of going through this cycle over and over again. but this time it feels so different... bc the past few times i got at least one or two persons that are usually closest to me, are here, to actually sit down or squeeze out time especially for me so that i won't feel this way. try all their ways and best to make me a little happier, but sadly, not this time. i can't take it anymore, like how people treat me as though i'm like a princess today, and treats me as though i put on an invisible cloak the next day... which is why i cannot feel attached to anyone at all. i just can't open my heart to anyone else bc once i do, i will get affected easily. i don't even know what i hv to do any more. thats why i always thought the best solution would be being left alone and guarding my heart so that i won't feel anything from you again. i don't want to face this vicious cycle, i can't believe i allowed myself to go through this so many times before coming to this stage and finally woke up. and that.. i hv to always believe that being alone isn that bad. i just don't want to get affected anymore